You know who you remind me of? The kid cop in Lethal Weapon 3. You know, the one who says, 'it's my twenty-first birthday today', and right away you know he's dead meat?

Jennifer Crusie


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Sophie held the [hand]cuffs higher, hopint to instill some sense of shame, if not in him, then at least in herself. One look at him and she wanted him again. "I found them in the bed."

"That makes sense," Phin said. "That's where I lost them."

"I'd ask what you were doing with them," Sophie said, trying not to sound bitchy, "but I probably don't want to know, do I?"

"Sure you do. It was exciting and different and depraved." Phin nodded toward the stairs. "Go put them someplace we can find them, and I'll show you later.

Jennifer Crusie

Tag: humor sex



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I suppose you had to," Wes said when Phin went back to join him at the table.

"Pretty much. She seduced me."

"Yeah, right," Wes said. "She said, 'Please fix the kitchen drain,' and you interpreted that--"

"She said, 'Fuck me.' " Phin put two balls on the table and picked up his cue. "I interpreted that to mean she wanted sex."

"Oh." Wes picked up his cue. "That would have been my call, too." He squinted at the table. "Why would she have said that?"

"On a guess? Because she wanted sex.

Jennifer Crusie

Tag: humor sex



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[...] And those women with the camera looked loose."

Excellent, Phin thought. At last, some good news.

Jennifer Crusie

Tag: humor



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She gave Rachel her usual obsessively loving smile, including Phin in it, too, as her future son-in-law. Such a nice couple, her smile said. What lovely grandchildren they'll give me. And they'll live right next door.

Phin's answering smile said, Not a chance in hell, while Rachel gazed at Justice and Mercy, pretending she'd never heard of pornography or sex, or Phin, for that matter.

Jennifer Crusie


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Don't even think about it."
"Well, when can I walk by myself?"
"When you get your driver's license."
"You always, always say that." Dillie scowled at him. "That's when everything happens."
"It's going to be a busy day," Phin agreed.

Jennifer Crusie

Tag: humor parenting



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Why are you offering me ten thousand dollars a month for babysitting? You didn’t pay the nannies that. It’s ridiculous. For ten thousand a month, you should not only get child care, you should get your house cleaned, your laundry done, your tires rotated, and if I were you, I’d insist on nightly blow jobs. Did you think I wouldn’t notice that you’re still trying to keep your thumb on me?

Jennifer Crusie

Tag: nanny babysitting blow-job child-care



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I adored you,” North said. “I just didn’t tell you. You were the most amazing thing that had ever happened to me. Nothing else like you in my world before or since. I was crazy about you. I still am. Ten years later you walk into my office and I see you and it’s like the first time, I can’t think, I can’t talk, I just need you with me. It makes me crazy, but now that I’ve got you back . . . You’re everything, Andie. I should have told you that before.

Jennifer Crusie

Tag: love



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Be sober, be vigilant because your adversary the Devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.

Jennifer Crusie


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Your cat just got cat hair on me.” “It’s only fair,” Min said. “Your suit just got expensive suit lint on him.

Jennifer Crusie


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