Look, Mother, I am never going to be thin.
I'm Norwegian. If you wanted a thin daughter, you should not have married a man whose female ancestors carried cows home from the pasture
I’m gonna have to get my eyes checked. I can’t see crap until it’s right in front of me
Jennifer CrusieThe last time I saw a brow that low I was watching slides in anthropology class
Jennifer Crusie• The key to fighting is never to fight unless the cause is so great that you couldn’t bear not to defend it and the losses you are going to suffer are things that you could afford to lose. If you do fight, the thing to remember is that it is going to hurt because that is what happens in a fight and you might as well reconcile yourself to it in the beginning and then it will not matter when it happens
Jennifer CrusieTag: humor inspirational
If you haven't failed, you're not trying hard enough.
Jennifer CrusieDrink to me! I just realized that I've slept with everyone at this table! ~Nell
Jennifer CrusieTag: humorous-quotations
In the bad old days, men kept women from choosing to work. In the bad new days, women keep women from choosing to stay home.
Jennifer CrusieMab: You know, Bill, you should see an optometrist about that rolling-eye problem. Makes you look rude and patronizing.
Jennifer CrusieTag: humor
King scratched at the door to be let out."
Charlie snorted. "King obviously has a lot of stamina. I'd have been clawing
at the door a lot sooner if I was trapped in a booth with Mark."
"But Mark ignored him, so King... uh, pooped."
Charlie grinned. "And then?"
"Mark yelled at him and scared him." Harry fought back a grin. "So King
pooped again."
Charlie's grin widened. "Mark is an idiot."
"So then Mark waved the script at him, and King—"
"Pooped again." Charlie started to laugh.
"Then Marcia came in and threw a fit because of all the poop in the booth and because Mark was mistreating a puppy. She gave him ten minutes to get the booth clean, and she took the dog away from him.
Allie put her chin on his shoulder to look into the carton. He had great shoulders and Chinese food. At the moment, he was the perfect man.
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