Being a superpower is like being a Santa Claus that everyone hates.

Jon Stewart

Tag: funny politics-of-the-united-states



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We must, together as a nation, stop watching Fox.

Jon Stewart

Tag: politics television



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No one is better at not beating America than England.

Jon Stewart

Tag: politics america england



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The more you delve into science, the more it appears to rely on faith.

Jon Stewart

Tag: science faith



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It's great having Bruce Springsteen on my show. We have so much in common! We're both from New Jersey, just from different neighborhoods. Sort of like how Martin Luther King and Margaret Mitchell both came from Atlanta. But from different neighborhoods.

Jon Stewart

Tag: humor class-warfare



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The problem with the Tea Party is they're all ignorant hillbillies who drink moonshine and ride around on mules. And they believe in stereotypes too.

Jon Stewart

Tag: humor politics-of-the-united-states



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And try as I might, I am having difficulty giving a f**k.

Jon Stewart

Tag: humor



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I thinking gay and straight people use the same putters, it's not a matter of putters but a matter of hole selection.

Jon Stewart

Tag: humor homosexuality



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The bias of the mainstream media is toward sensationalism, conflict, and laziness.

Jon Stewart

Tag: media



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Parenthood is an amazing opportunity to be able to ruin someone from scratch.

Jon Stewart


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