Being a superpower is like being a Santa Claus that everyone hates.
Jon StewartTags: funny politics-of-the-united-states
We must, together as a nation, stop watching Fox.
Jon StewartTags: politics television
No one is better at not beating America than England.
Jon StewartTags: politics america england
The more you delve into science, the more it appears to rely on faith.
Jon StewartIt's great having Bruce Springsteen on my show. We have so much in common! We're both from New Jersey, just from different neighborhoods. Sort of like how Martin Luther King and Margaret Mitchell both came from Atlanta. But from different neighborhoods.
Jon StewartTags: humor class-warfare
The problem with the Tea Party is they're all ignorant hillbillies who drink moonshine and ride around on mules. And they believe in stereotypes too.
Jon StewartTags: humor politics-of-the-united-states
And try as I might, I am having difficulty giving a f**k.
Jon StewartTags: humor
I thinking gay and straight people use the same putters, it's not a matter of putters but a matter of hole selection.
Jon StewartTags: humor homosexuality
The bias of the mainstream media is toward sensationalism, conflict, and laziness.
Jon StewartTags: media
Parenthood is an amazing opportunity to be able to ruin someone from scratch.
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