Most world religions denounced war as a barbaric waste of human life. We treasured the teachings of these religions so dearly that we frequently had to wage war in order to impose them on other people.
Jon StewartPigmentation was a quick and convenient way of judging a person. One of us, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., once proposed we instead judge people by the content of their character. He was shot.
Jon StewartIt's funny. When we were alive we spent much of our time staring up at the cosmos and wondering what was out there. We were obsessed with the moon and whether we could one day visit it. The day we finally walked on it was celebrated worldwide as perhaps man's greatest achievement. But it was while we were there, gathering rocks from the moon's desolate landscape, that we looked up and caught a glimpse of just how incredible our own planet was. Its singular astonishing beauty. We called her Mother Earth. Because she gave birth to us, and then we sucked her dry.
Jon StewartYou have to remember one thing about the will of the people: it wasn't that long ago that we were swept away by the Macarena.
Jon StewartTags: humor politics democracy government public-opinion
The Westboro Baptist Church is no more a church than Church's Fried Chicken is a church.
Jon StewartTags: religion
The internet is just a world passing notes around a classroom.
Jon StewartAs our larynxes descended, we were able to make sounds with our mouths in new and far more expressive ways. Verbal language soon overtook physical gesturing as the primary means of communication for all human beings except Italians. (Earth (The Book), p. 36)
Jon StewartTags: humor language evolution italian jon-stewart
You can use your idealism to further your aims, if you realize that nothing is Nirvana, nothing is perfect.
Jon StewartWhat are you so mad about? That we still have a government? We still have “traffic lights.” We’re sorry. The government’s not perfect, but some people wish it was better, not gone.
Jon StewartYou wonder sometimes how our government puts on its pants in the morning.
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