If you want to communicate an idea to a man's brain, you must talk to him through his pecker. It's like an ear horn, y'all.

Kresley Cole

Tag: humor



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Apparently, he’d killed so many family members that he must have significantly affected the Lore’s population. Doing my part for the environment.

Kresley Cole

Tag: humor



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Aww, did we masturbate through the tears last night?

Kresley Cole

Tag: humor sarcasm



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She took me to a mall yesterday"' Lachlain sounded as if he'd just stifled a shudder. "And she pointed to a boy and said, 'I think I want one.' So naturally, I start thinking, Where can I get a wee mortal? But she meant a bairn—our bairn.

Kresley Cole


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How do you plan to keep me here during the day? An unblooded Forbearer shouldn’t be so hard to vanquish.”
Vanquished by her? Amusing. “I’ll send you back to the cell. You want to be my pet? I’ll take you out and put you back in your cage at my pleasure.”
She blinked at him. “You don’t want to send me back. Who will entertain you? I can deal poker and make shadow animals.

Kresley Cole

Tag: nikolai myst



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The best way to get over a man is to get under an Italian.

Kresley Cole


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That sorceress might be an evil, but she is my evil bitch. And I'll have no other

Kresley Cole

Tag: kiss-of-a-demon-king



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Matthew, exactly how psychic are you?
So psychic that other psychics should be called Mattics.

Kresley Cole

Tag: psychic



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Somebody want to explain to me why those soldiers were shooting each other?'
(...)'Inbreeding?

Kresley Cole


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Old as carbon," Nix agreed. "And so powerful I'm working on my demigoddess badges.

Kresley Cole

Tag: humorous-quotations



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