But when I say 'cow', don’t go running away with the idea of some decent, self-respecting cudster such as you may observe loading grass into itself in the nearest meadow.

P.G. Wodehouse

Tag: cows



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And, as I mused, the years fell away, hair sprouted on the vast steppes of my head, where never hair has been almost within the memory of man.

P.G. Wodehouse

Tag: baldness



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Good God, Clarence! You look like a bereaved tapeworm.

P.G. Wodehouse


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They’re soul mates. She has about as much brain as a retarded billiards ball, and he approximately the same.

P.G. Wodehouse


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In his normal state he would not strike a lamb. I’ve known him to do it’
‘Do what?’
‘Not strike lambs

P.G. Wodehouse


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Little as he knew of women, he was aware that as a sex they are apt to be startled by the sight of men crawling out from under the seats of compartments.

P.G. Wodehouse


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Between an egg that is fried and an egg that is cremated there is a wide and substantial difference.

P.G. Wodehouse


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He looks much more like a lobster than most lobsters do.

P.G. Wodehouse


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Hugo?’ ‘Millicent?’ ‘Is that you?’ ‘Yes. Is that you?’ ‘Yes.’ Anything in the nature of misunderstanding was cleared away. It was both of them.

P.G. Wodehouse


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I laughed derisively.
"For goodness' sake, don't start gargling now. This is serious."
"I was laughing."
"Oh, were you? Well, I'm glad to see you taking it in this merry spirit."
"Derisively," I explained.

P.G. Wodehouse

Tag: humour



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