*For eleven years, I've been worked over and abused in ways you can't imagine by things you don't want to know about. I've killed every kind of vile, black-souled, dead-eyed nightmare that ever made you piss your pjs and cry for mommy in the middle of the night. I kill monsters and, if I wanted, I could say a word and burn you to powder from the inside out. I can tear any human you ever met to rages with my bare hands. Give me one good reason why I could possibly need you?
*She looks straight at me, not blinking. No fear in her eyes.
*Because you might be the Tasmanian Devil and the Angel of Death all rolled into one, but you don't even know how to get a phone.
*I hate to admit it, but she has a point.

Richard Kadrey

Tag: hell monsters phones



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See? Even dead she makes me a better whatever-the-hell it is I am. A less stupid person. A more considerate monster.

Richard Kadrey

Tag: monsters-of-men better-person



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Thanks for treating me like, you know, a person through all this shit. I know that isn't always easy. (Stark)
You do have a habit of pissing on other people's welcome mats. But, when a gentleman gives you a booty call to a massacre, it's easy to forgive. Ciao. (Candy)

Richard Kadrey

Tag: forgiveness massacre booty-call



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Fuck you, angel. Fuck you and all God's little prison bitches. He slips you some cigarettes and a con job smile and you run off to do his dirty work for him. Go and scare some sinners. No one's listening to you here.

Richard Kadrey

Tag: god prison angels



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No hospitals, she says.
I know.
Where are we going?
For ice cream. What's your favorite flavor?
Fuck you.
That's my favorite, too.

Richard Kadrey


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When the world began, there were no such things as monsters. Demons were just fallen angels who, booted out of Heaven and bored with Hell, wandered the Earth sticking little girls’ pigtails in inkwells and sinking the occasional continent.

Richard Kadrey

Tag: funny demons



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He wore his fear on his skin for everyone to see.

Richard Kadrey

Tag: fear tattoo



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If fucking up is power, I should be the Hulk by now.

Richard Kadrey

Tag: power funny



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Besides, do you think you would have come if I’d just popped into your tattoo shop one night around closing and
said, ‘Hello, I’m the Prince of Darkness. Think you could help me out
with a little war next Tuesday, say, sixish?

Richard Kadrey

Tag: funny lucifer



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Being able to embrace contradictions is a sign of intelligence.
Or insanity.

Richard Kadrey

Tag: intelligence insanity contradictions



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