My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married adn I didn't want him to.
Rita RudnerWhen I met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always
Rita RudnerTag: men-women
My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpets or ruin our lives.
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Men forget everything; women remember everything. That's why men need instant replay in sports. They've already forgotten what's happened.
Rita RudnerTag: funny explains-a-lot
My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head.
Rita RudnerSome people think having large breasts makes a woman stupid. Actually, it's quite the opposite: a woman having large breasts makes men stupid.
Rita RudnerNeurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.
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In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.
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A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.
Rita RudnerTag: relationships dating meeting-men
I never panic when I get lost. I just change where it is I want to go.
Rita RudnerTag: life
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