I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.

Rodney Dangerfield

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I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.

Rodney Dangerfield

Tag: humor wife affair infidelity psychiatrist

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Last time I saw a mouth like that, it had a hook in it.

Rodney Dangerfield

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My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.

Rodney Dangerfield

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Когато бях отвлечен като дете моите похитители изпратиха писмо на родителите ми "Платете 5000 долара или ви го връщаме

Rodney Dangerfield

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When I was kidnapped as a child my parents sent a letter to the hijackers me Pay 5,000 dollars or your back

Rodney Dangerfield

Tag: humor humour funny child kiddnapped rodney-dangerfield

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Look out for number one and try not to step in number two.

Rodney Dangerfield

Tag: humor

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I'm not a hypochondriac, but my gynaecologist firmly believes I am.

Rodney Dangerfield

Tag: humour comedy

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When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.

Rodney Dangerfield

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my wifes cooking is so bad the flys fix our screens

Rodney Dangerfield

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