HE BROKE HIS NOSE GIVING A FAKE BLOWJOB. Holy shit. I love that story with every part of me.
Sarah SilvermanWomen don't ask to be raped, but there are some that are asking to be motorboated
Sarah SilvermanIf women could ejaculate, I would have exploded hot jizz all over my manager's face. Instead, I hugged him. (about getting the SNL gig as a writer)
Sarah SilvermanSome people need Hell. If you’re the type of guy who sees a hooker in an alleyway and instinctively thinks, “Hey, now there’s something I could rape and kill without any consequences,” then the concept of Hell might really keep you out of trouble.
Sarah SilvermanTag: hell
Great News! If you quit being cunty the whole world will stop being against you!
Sarah SilvermanI was paralyzed with fear. It was unbearable to be among other kids who were just standing around being fine. It was one of the many inconveniences of this paradox I lived with -the more people I was surrounded by, the more frighteningly alone I felt.
Sarah SilvermanThat still feels like the most accurate description - I felt homesick, but I was home.
Sarah SilvermanI know I'm not funny. I mean, let's face it, I'm no Groucho Marx. But if you're a guy, and you're watching late night television, are you gonna start jacking off to Groucho? I don't think so!
Sarah SilvermanTag: humor
I am diagnosed with not having enough insanely-addictive drugs coursing through my body.
Sarah SilvermanTag: medicine depression
Summer camp: the second worst camp for Jews.
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