Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
Spike MilliganTag: condoms contraceptives
The clock in the church tower said 4.32, as it had done for three hundred years. It was right once a day and that was better than no clock at all.
Spike MilliganR.I.P.
Tom Conlon O'Rourke.
Not Dead, just Sleeping.
Life is a long agonized illness only curable by death.
Spike MilliganGeneral: Where are you from?
Spike: London.
General: Which part?
Spike: ... Well, all of me.
Tag: humour milliganese
Author, author, did you write these legs?( The Milligan- Puckoon
Spike MilliganWaiting for the operation, there was a gentle tap on the door. In came a strapping nurse. 'Good morning', she shrilled, whipped back the bedclothes, upped with his nightshirt, grabbed his willy, lathered furiously around it till it looked like the Eddystone Lighthouse in a storm, then shaved the whole area till it looked like an oven-ready chicken.
'Excuse me, nurse', said Looney, 'why did you knock?
Tag: nurses
My sister Laura's bigger than me
And lifts me up quite easily.
I can't lift her, I've tried and tried;
She must have something heavy inside.
They're all the rage, Cab Calloway wears one.
Spike MilliganTag: humour
Everybody has to be somewhere!
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