Wikipedia is the first place I go when I'm looking for knowledge... or when I want to create some.
Stephen ColbertWomen don't want all that. Women just want a partner who is considerate and attentive, who will spoon with them while reciting Keats, and feed them organic yogurt by candlelight on a seaside cliff at sunset.
Stephen ColbertTag: humor
A father has to be a provider, a teacher, a role model, but most importantly, a distant authority figure who can never be pleased. Otherwise, how will children ever understand the concept of God?
Stephen ColbertTag: humor family satire parenting role-models fatherhood
What's the worst that can happen? A tidal wave? Glaciers with guns?
Stephen ColbertYou said in your book that at the end of the day, every politician is human. What about during the day?
Stephen ColbertResearchers from Britain's Keele University have found that swearing after an injury may help alleviate pain. Evidently, the pain that you feel is inversely proportional to the number of middle names you give Jesus.
Stephen ColbertNow I don't know why he's denying them habeas corpus. I can only assume the guys they got detained over there did something really unforgivable. Like remind Obama he was once a professor of Constitutional Law.
Stephen ColbertGhost of Bobby: no, no you can't eat me. I'm a ghost.
Stephen Colbert: That just means that there's less bones to pick out.
it's back to school time. or as home-schoolers call it, stay-where-you-are time.
Stephen ColbertTag: school
brb, ttyl ok? wow, i saved a 'ton' of time with those acronyms.
Stephen ColbertTag: acronyms
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