Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
Steven WrightIf Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
Steven WrightTag: absurd
Light travels faster than sound. Isn't that why people appear bright before you hear them speak?
Steven WrightIn my house there's this light switch that doesn't do anything. Every so often I would flick it on and off just to check. Yesterday, I got a call from a woman in Madagascar. She said, 'Cut it out.'
Steven WrightTag: absurd
Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.
Steven WrightTag: absurd
I finally got around to reading the dictionary. Turns out the Zebra did it.
Steven WrightIf warm air rises, Heaven could be hotter than Hell.
Steven WrightThe best kind of friend is the kind you sit with, never say a word and walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you ever had.
Steven WrightI named my dog Stay, so I can say, 'Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!
Steven WrightTag: humor
It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it.
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