If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do all the rest have to drown too?
Steven WrightI was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. So I said, "Got any shoes you’re not using?
Steven WrightImagine Oshkosh straitjackets for little insane children.
Steven WrightImagine how weird phones would look if your mouth was nowhere near your ears.
Steven WrightTag: humor-phones
You know, the New Testament is pretty old. I think they should call them the Old Testament and the Most Recent Testament.
Steven WrightSometimes I talk to myself in languages I'm unfamiliar with... just to screw with my subconscious.
Steven WrightLaughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.
Steven WrightThe doctor says he has to amputate all of me.
Steven WrightI just lost a buttonhole.
Steven WrightCan you buy an entire chess set in a pawn shop?
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