I'm fresh out of fucks to give.

Tucker Max

Tag: humor sex rejection



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WAKE UP! WE'RE LATE FOR DRINKING!!

Tucker Max


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The general intellectual level of South Florida is somewhere just above "functionally retarded".

Tucker Max

Tag: humor intelligence florida



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The rules your parents teach you to live by are very different than the rules the world actually runs by. Most of the conventional wisdom is not only wrong, it's a lie told to us by people who want to control us. It doesn't help us, it helps them. Pretty much everything we're told as children (and adults, really) by the established power structures in our lives are made up fairytales us to reinforce that control: Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the tooth fairy, fat-free frozen dinners, religion, and metering lights on the highway--the list goes on

Tucker Max

Tag: god



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Earl "The Goat" Manigault was probably the greatest basketball player of all time, but Michael Jordan is universally regarded as the best ever. This is because The Goat only did it at Rucker Park, while Michael did it where it mattered: in front of the world.

Tucker Max

Tag: abilities performing jordan



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... the devil doesn't come dressed in a red cape and pointy horns. He comes as everything you've ever wished for ...

Tucker Max

Tag: temptation the-devil



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Leave it up to hipster nerds to pretend to hate something that they actually want

Tucker Max

Tag: hate



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... If God invented anything better than drunk sex with a hot girl, he kept it to himself.

Tucker Max

Tag: god drunk-sex



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If people try to judge you or shame you for doing safe, consensual things that make you happy, I can guarantee you they're bad people.

Tucker Max

Tag: shame judging happyness



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No one has it all figured out, especially not the people who are acting like they do and judging you because of it. Pretending to be something you aren't because you're trying to please a bunch of judgmental hypocrites and shitheads is not the way to be happy. Living the life you want to live is. It really is that simple.

Tucker Max

Tag: living judging figuring-things-out



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