I swallowed a hand grenade that never stops exploding.

“When I haven't been kissed in a long time, I create civil disturbances, then in…”

“I've been ignored by prettier women than you, but none who carried the heavy pi…”

“Once I dated a woman I only liked 43%.So I only listened to 43% of what she sai…”

“I realise there's something incredibly honest about trees in winter, how they'r…”