Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.

Tim Vine

Tag: humor dark-humor



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Drive-Thru McDonalds was more expensive than I thought...once you've hired the car...

Tim Key

Tag: dark-humor laugh



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When your past shows up to haunt you, make sure it comes after supper so it doesn't ruin your whole day.

Jay Wickre

Tag: humor reality depression dark-humor anxiety



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You have the effrontery to be squeamish, it thought at him. But we were dragons. We were supposed to be cruel, cunning, heartless and terrible. But this much I can tell you, you ape – the great face pressed even closer, so that Wonse was staring into the pitiless depths of his eyes – we never burned and tortured and ripped one another apart and called it morality.

Terry Pratchett

Tag: morality dragons cruelty dark-humor



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He took a long draw then asked, “What’d I do?”
“You knew about the guy threatening my dad?”
He paused, shifted in his chair, so freaking busted, it wasn’t funny. “They told you?”
“Why, no, Swopes, they didn’t. Instead, they waited until the guy knocked the fuck out of my dad and readied him for spaceflight with duct tape then tried to kill me with a butcher’s knife.

Darynda Jones

Tag: dark-humor



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I am often thought of as being remarkably bright, and yet my brains, more often than not, are busily devising new and interesting ways of bringing my enemies to sudden, gagging, writhing, agonizing death.

Alan Bradley

Tag: humor intelligence enemies sarcasm dark-humor wrath vengeance flavia-de-luce



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For 3 million you could give everyone in Scotland a shovel, and we could dig a hole so deep we could hand her over to Satan in person. (on Margaret Thatcher)

Frankie Boyle

Tag: humor politics devil death humour funny hell scotland dark-humor funeral margaret-thatcher



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All I did was offer to kill your dog, and the next thing I know I’m being judged.

Tom Upton

Tag: dark-humor young-adult teen



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You have to figure that there is something seriously wrong with somebody who wants to enter a profession that deals with whether people are screwing enough. Dealing with spirits, spooks, and demons almost seemed normal.

Tom Upton

Tag: humor dark-humor young-adult psychiatry



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Loop, you shot him in the head... Fuck yeah he dead.

Brian Azzarello

Tag: humor dark-humor



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