Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.
Tim VineTags: humor dark-humor
Drive-Thru McDonalds was more expensive than I thought...once you've hired the car...
Tim KeyTags: dark-humor laugh
When your past shows up to haunt you, make sure it comes after supper so it doesn't ruin your whole day.
Jay WickreTags: humor reality depression dark-humor anxiety
You have the effrontery to be squeamish, it thought at him. But we were dragons. We were supposed to be cruel, cunning, heartless and terrible. But this much I can tell you, you ape – the great face pressed even closer, so that Wonse was staring into the pitiless depths of his eyes – we never burned and tortured and ripped one another apart and called it morality.
Terry PratchettTags: morality dragons cruelty dark-humor
He took a long draw then asked, “What’d I do?”
“You knew about the guy threatening my dad?”
He paused, shifted in his chair, so freaking busted, it wasn’t funny. “They told you?”
“Why, no, Swopes, they didn’t. Instead, they waited until the guy knocked the fuck out of my dad and readied him for spaceflight with duct tape then tried to kill me with a butcher’s knife.
Tags: dark-humor
I am often thought of as being remarkably bright, and yet my brains, more often than not, are busily devising new and interesting ways of bringing my enemies to sudden, gagging, writhing, agonizing death.
Alan BradleyTags: humor intelligence enemies sarcasm dark-humor wrath vengeance flavia-de-luce
For 3 million you could give everyone in Scotland a shovel, and we could dig a hole so deep we could hand her over to Satan in person. (on Margaret Thatcher)
Frankie BoyleTags: humor politics devil death humour funny hell scotland dark-humor funeral margaret-thatcher
All I did was offer to kill your dog, and the next thing I know I’m being judged.
Tom UptonTags: dark-humor young-adult teen
You have to figure that there is something seriously wrong with somebody who wants to enter a profession that deals with whether people are screwing enough. Dealing with spirits, spooks, and demons almost seemed normal.
Tom UptonTags: humor dark-humor young-adult psychiatry
Loop, you shot him in the head... Fuck yeah he dead.
Brian AzzarelloTags: humor dark-humor
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