[Razo] knocked, peered inside, then jumped and shut the door, quiet as brushing two feathers together. He smiled at his own stealth, then swaggered right into a chair, banging it against the wall.
You oaf. He cut short his swagger and began to move with exaggerated sneakiness.

Shannon Hale

Tag: humor funny-and-random



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If You're Gonna Ride My Ass, At Least Pull My Hair!

S.C. Stephens

Tag: funny-and-random



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Imogene always sits
on the remote. It’s probably wedged between her butt cheeks.”
“Should I go get a crowbar?

Kirsten Miller

Tag: paranormal-romance funny-and-random



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I think I'm supposed to "take a sad song and make it better," but that's beyond my musical ability

Sophia Bennett

Tag: music beatles funny-and-random



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He looked up at Stig and Hal. 'Told you this one was a keeper.' Lydia flushed as the two boys smiled. 'Shut up. You make sure you do your stuff with those two overgrown dinner bowls you call shields.

John Flanagan

Tag: funny-and-random



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One fall day in Boston, a tall mechanical engineering student named Joe entered the student union at Harvard University. He was all ambition and acne

Dan Ariely

Tag: funny-and-random



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Right now, I couldn't have cared less if someone had waltzed across the room in a large flower costume with a sign saying GET YOUR BLACK TULIPS HERE. Every nerve in my body was on man-alert, screaming, "incoming!

Lauren Willig

Tag: spy spies funny-and-random lauren-willig black-tulip



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Nothing will go wrong,Micheal said soothingly. Me and you? We've been through to much together. And your too unpleasant to die.Too bossy.God will keep you down here for a while until you learn your lesson and start learning to work and play well with others. Now your talking.Will you go with me a week from Friday when I get my biopsy? Wild horses and an evil head nurse with rubber gloves couldn't keep me away.
Now your just being gross.

Erica Orloff

Tag: funny-and-random



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Be the kind of woman who, when your feet hit the floor each morning, the devil says "Oh, no! She's up.

Joanne Clancy

Tag: life inspirational women funny-and-random



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Hasn’t stopped us before. And besides, if they wanted to kill us, we’d be dead by now and would be having an entirely different conversation. I wonder if I’d still be mad at you, or if we would talk in words or pictures. Maybe in smells. That would be cool.” -Janco

Maria V. Snyder

Tag: humor thought-provoking funny-but-true funny-and-random after-death funny-quotes afterlife-speculation



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