Its a good thing I'm here, big guy, because you have shit taste in friends."

Okay, I said the last part intentionally, knowing how Aaron would react. And right on cue, Aaron said:

"He's not my friend!"

"Well, I guess that settles it, Nick. You're not going to be rebound guy because, despite your predictions of woe, Aaron and I aren't breaking up. I'd say that we'll see you around, but I doubt that'll happen since you don't even rate friend status.

Cardeno C.

Tag: funny-as-hell m-m-romance bitchy-but-awesome



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If I feel the urge to burst into flames, I'll let you know. " Simon never had much patience with Jace. "Look, did you ask me to come all the way uptown just so you could stare at me like I was something in a petri dish? Next time I'll send you a photo. " "And I'll frame it and put it on my nightstand, " said Jace sarcastically.

Cassandra Clare

Tag: funny-as-hell



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Don't look pleased with yourself. When Will says 'enterprising, ' he means 'morally deficient. '" "No, I mean enterprising, " said Will. "When I mean morally deficient, I say, 'Now, that's something I would have done.

Cassandra Clare

Tag: funny-as-hell



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I wanted to puke, and from the intense paint stench that was assaulting my nasal passages. Sage wanted Gaberot, Not Tucker, not Joe, but Gabe. It was all too gross to contemplate. So of course my brain couldn't stop contemplating it.
Sage and Gabe-rot sitting in the tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G!
We worked in silence for a few minutes while I fumed. How could she grill me about Gabe when she was already dating Mr.Perfect? If only Daniel were here to hear all of this instead of sitting back at SDH oblivious.
"So are you and Gabe, like close?" Sage asked.
Ugh!
"Very close," I said, tilting my head to one side,"Incestuous,actually. He's a fabulous kisser.

Kieran Scott

Tag: favourite-quote funny-as-hell



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Girls are always complaining that they can never meet a nice guy. Nice guys are everywhere. The problem isn’t that there aren't any nice guys, the problem is that all of the nice guys are ugly.

Carroll Bryant

Tag: humor humorous hilarious comical funny-but-true funny-humor funny-as-hell funny-but-sad



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Who's stupid now, Jimbo?!

April Henry

Tag: humor awesome character-quote funny-as-hell gun-point



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He also deeply distrusts vampires, as you had guessed yourself,” Bones added. “Aside from that, all I heard was enough repetitions of ‘how many chucks could a woodchuck chuck’ to make me want to stake myself.

Jeaniene Frost

Tag: humorous bones funny-as-hell one-grave-at-a-time



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To be fair he is Lord Byron," Jane said. "I don't know many people who haven't slept with him at one time or another." -- Jane Fairfax

Michael Thomas Ford

Tag: funny-as-hell



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Ish #303 "It's a street food vendor! Stop asking for the health score rating.

Regina Griffin

Tag: humor funny funny-as-hell funny-quotes



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Ish #21 "Stop saying the only meat you eat is chicken. It's still meat!

Regina Griffin

Tag: humor humerous funny-but-true funny-as-hell funny-quotes



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