I think we're avoiding the most important question here. What matters most. What means the most to men like us."
Conall growled at Billy Dunwich's sincere face. "I am not telling you if she swallows."
Dunwich smiled. "Just tell me if she's a good girl...or if she's a very good girl?
Tag: men funny-as-hell
I'm going to take a wild guess here and say the hard-on you've been sporting all afternoon is not on account of Mr. Nicholson continually bending over to pick up the golf balls, right?"
"For fuck's sake, Dad!" James cursed, looking horrified at his father, who just shrugged his shoulders at his son's shocked expression.
"Whaaat? Just making sure," he added, hardly hiding his amusement.
Tag: funny-as-hell raises-eyebrows
You were upset. I don't want you feeling forced into anything," he pressed on, horrified at his own words. Mental. Since when did he let chivalry get in the way of a blowjob? Talk about boycotting oneself, jeez.
Elle AycartTag: self-restraint funny-as-hell
You talked to your mother about Duncan's erectile dysfunction?" He glared down at her. "Has he considered taking your TV away?
Dana Marie BellTag: funny-as-hell
when the cheese belongs to the mitten take the horns off the roller coaster
Zach PetersonTag: funny-as-hell
This...this...thing?"
"A parsnip?" Jem suggested
"A parsnip planted in satan's own garden," said Will. He glanced about. "I dont suppose there's a dog I could feed it to?"
"There dont seem to be any pets about," Jem-who loved animals, even the inglorious and ill-tempered Church-observed.
"Probably all poisened by parsnips," said Will.
Tag: funny-as-hell will-herondale jem-carstairs parsnips
She stared into his eyes and announced, “A good-bye kiss.”
It was at that Raid stopped dead. “What?”
“Raiden, the gig is up,” she declared, and Raid closed his eyes.
Jesus, how could the woman be so infuriating and so fucking cute all at once?
He opened his eyes and asked, “The gig is up?”
She leaned into him and hissed, “Yes.”
Fuck, he wanted to kiss her.
He also wanted to shake her.
“Baby, it’s jig,” he corrected, and her head jerked, which made that mess of hair on her head jerk, which reminded him he wanted his hands in that hair.
Then elsewhere.
He needed to speed this shit up.
“Sorry?” she asked, sounding confused, and he looked from her hair to her eyes and saw she was, in fact, confused.
Yeah. Infuriating. And fucking cute.
“The jig is up, not the gig,” he told her.
Her eyes narrowed. “Seriously? You’re correcting my street lingo?”
“Think that street lingo was the street lingo about eight decades ago, Hanna. So now it’s just lingo.
Tag: humor language-understanding funny-as-hell funny-quotes gig jig
Wishing he'd...get the hell out the door before I do something crazy like ask him to whip out his goober.
Stephanie McAfeeTag: funny-as-hell
Yeah, I got her,” Will confirms.
“Who you got?” I ask.
“You, drunk girl. Come on.” He turns to lead me toward the exit, and I start to follow him, but for some reason my feet don’t work very well.
“Um, Will?”
“Yeah?”
“I lost my feet.”
“What?” he laughs and pinches the bridge of his nose.
“I can’t find my feet.”
Why is everyone laughing at me? This is serious!
Tag: drunk funny-as-hell
She blinked at me, then realized I was panicking. Honestly, it was like admitting to murder before being interrogated.
“Ms. Davidson,” she began, but I decided to trip her up, to throw her off the trail of blood I’d left like an injured animal.
“I don’t speak English.
Tag: funny-as-hell charley-davidson
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