Her descriptions will be incandescent, perfect little nuggets of phraseology, and there will probably be lots of sex in her writing - the clinical type of sex with labias and clitorises and tongues going everywhere.

Susan Breen

Tag: humor writing sex funny



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The phone beeped - M fine but these two guys R on me like cougars on Adam Lambert.

Elisabeth Staab

Tag: funny pnr witty-quotes elisabeth-staab king-of-darkness



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If you have the woman you love, what more do you need? Well, besides an alibi for the time of her husband’s murder.


Dark Jar Tin Zoo

Tag: humor love woman women murder time relationships necessity funny crazy justification husband wife desire need insane want alibi yearn justify word-junkies



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To find out if she really loved me, I hooked her up to a lie detector. And just as I suspected, my machine was broken.


Dark Jar Tin Zoo

Tag: humor life honesty love deception women lies relationships funny lie denial illusion illogical honest deceit machine deny suspicion broken lie-detector word-junkies



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Nothing says work efficiency like panic mode.

Don Roff

Tag: humor writing procrastination random work funny panic editing efficiency procrastinate adhd procrastinating



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Listen, I didn’t ask for a face and body girls find attractive. But thanks to the mixture of my parents’ DNA, I’ve got them, and I’m not ashamed to use ’em.

Simone Elkeles

Tag: romance humour funny young-adult-fiction young-adult-romance



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Whoa, who was that?”
“Madison Stone,” Kiara mutters.
“Introduce me to her.”
“Why?”
Because I know it’ll annoy the shit out of you.

Simone Elkeles

Tag: romance humour funny young-adult-fiction young-adult-romance



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She ignores me, so I cup my hands over my mouth and do something I haven’t done in years— barnyard sounds.

Simone Elkeles

Tag: romance humour funny young-adult-fiction young-adult-romance



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I make love with a focus and intensity that most people reserve for sleep.

Dark Jar Tin Zoo

Tag: humor love men women romantic romance sleep sex relationships funny sleeping intensity focus intense reserve not-romantic make-love word-junkies



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Making love to me is amazing. Wait, I meant: making love, to me, is amazing. The absence of two little commas nearly transformed me into a sex god.


Dark Jar Tin Zoo

Tag: humor love writing god sex relationships funny amazement writer editing transformation lover absence amazing commas sex-god transform word-junkies



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