Yeah 220, 221 whatever it takes!"
Michael Keaton character in "Mr. Mom

Mark Buff

Tag: humor funny humorous funny-humor



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Caine tried to roll to his feet, but something was jabbing him in the crouch. He shook off the stars and saw Edilio standing over him. Edilio had the business end of his automatic rifle in a very sensitive place.
"If you move, Caine, I will shoot your balls off," Edilio said. "Toto?"
"He will," Toto said, "Although he's not sure it will be just your balls.

Michael Grant

Tag: light funny gone balls gone-series caine michael-grant edilio toto



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You need a job and I need a PA, why don’t you come and work for me?”
“No thanks, God knows what being your PA would involve.”
He laughs. “Well it would involve the usual, faxing, filing, answering the phones, taking
bookings, relieving my sexual needs, etcetera.”
“Yeah I thought as much.” I tell him, my tone doing all the rejecting for me.
“Seriously though, the offer stands. Think it over.” He tells me in a soft voice.
“I don’t have PA experience.”
“I’ll teach you,” he says, in a tone that insinuates other things.
“Sure.”
He lowers his voice. “I think I’d enjoy teaching you things.”
“Can’t say I w-would enjoy it.” Yeah, right.
“You stuttered,” he says

L.H. Cosway

Tag: funny pervy



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I've done tangos with men who thought my ass was a squeaky toy.

Seanan McGuire

Tag: humor dancing funny toy tango



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Welcome to Arizona, you bastard.

Nenia Campbell

Tag: humor funny anger christina arizona



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So just bust a move!

Ava J. Abramowitz

Tag: dance funny



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At that point in time, there were three things in life that I knew for certain: (1) I was a girl who’d never met a site she couldn’t hack or a code she couldn’t break, (2) I had a roundhouse that could put a grown man in the hospital, and (3) I would without question chop off my own hands before I’d come within five feet of a pom-pom

Jennifer Lynn Barnes

Tag: funny cheerleading



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When they throw the water on the witch, she says, “Who would have thought a good little girl like you could destroy my beautiful wickedness”. That line inspired my life. I sometimes say it to myself before I go to sleep, like a prayer.

John Waters

Tag: funny witch inspired the-wizard-of-oz



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He’s sitting casually at my kitchen table peeling the skin off an apple
with a pocket knife, a red apple that he has quite obviously appropriated from my fruit bowl, might I add.

L.H. Cosway

Tag: funny supernatural stingy break-in



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You must be a blast on long car rides.”

“Oh, I am. You haven't experienced fun until you try to fuck in the front seat of a Civic.

Nenia Campbell

Tag: humor sex funny sarcasm michael christina



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