I can't dance, remember?" I whispered.
"It's just a tango. It is like sex, except with clothes on." Then, squeezing me closer: "Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot, you do not know how to do that either.

Joe Schreiber

Tag: dancing sex funny tango



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Merrill Krause - "My brothers have scared off just about any fellow who showed interest in getting to know me."
Granny Lassiter - "Well, if a man can't stand up to those brothers of yours, you needn't even consider him. A man ought to be able to hold his own with his wife's family.

Tracie Peterson

Tag: humor advice funny brothers



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Mal snickered.
"What's so funny?"
"I just pictured the Darkling being cornered by a sweaty duchess trying to have her way with him.

Leigh Bardugo

Tag: funny mal alina



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I’d seen weirder things than a haunted shoe, but not many.

Richelle Mead

Tag: humor random paranormal-romance funny supernatural richelle-mead storm-born haunted-shoe



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I guess the breakfast burritos are going to have some extra protein in the morning.

Jon S. Lewis

Tag: humor funny humorous



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That's your solution? Have a cookie?

Michael Grant

Tag: humour funny



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You know,” he says, voice still low.“I have had nothing but trouble since you walked into my life.” “I’d walk straight back out of it if only you’d let me.

L.H. Cosway

Tag: funny cute lovers-quarrels tegan-and-ethan



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I haven't met that many women, human or angelic, who actually like to drive. In my experience they seem to be much more pragmatic about the whole thing than we are. For most males, driving is an extension of their masculinity; they have little fantasy scenarios going all the time - races, chases, and dramatic combat with other drivers. Females, on the other hand, generally seem to view driving as something you do to get somewhere. I know, crazy.

Tad Williams

Tag: funny men-and-women driving



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Could you bring me to Rita’s house before we go to the airport?” I ask. “There’s one last thing I need to ask her to do.” “That is on the other side of the river,” says Ethan.“I know. But I need to see her. Please, I’ll be eternally grateful.” He doesn’t say anything, but instead puts the car in gear and starts the engine. After we are driving for about two minutes he asks. “How grateful?” Ah, I see the old Ethan hasn’t disappeared then. I smile and lean over to place a light peck on his cheek. “This grateful,” I say to him.“Hmm, I think you can do better than that,” he chides in good humor.
“You’re driving,” is all I say in reply.
“I can pull over,” he answers smartly.

L.H. Cosway

Tag: humor funny flirting cute ethan-and-tegan



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And just before I go to sleep, I'll think of sentences that don't contain words like Hoover, Jogging, and Heart Transplant

Kirsten Gier

Tag: funny gideon qweneth



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