Dan moans behind me, reminding her of the problem. She straightens in fear at the sound of his voice, peers over my shoulder at the chunk of bloody beef that is Dan Sikorsky. She looks slowly from him to me. “What did you do?” I duck my head, embarrassed. “I sort of lost my temper.

Jasinda Wilder

Tag: funny temper lol falling nell haha colton falling-into-you jasinda-wilder



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Oh, god…” I whimper. “I haven’t done anything yet, baby,” Colton growls. “I know,” I pant. “I was just saying your name.

Jasinda Wilder

Tag: funny hilarious lol falling sexy nell haha colton hott falling-into-you jasinda-wilder



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You hate birthdays yet pee your pants over presents. There is clearly something wrong with you," Garrett joked.

Tara Sivec

Tag: funny wrong birthdays lol parker pee haha garrett tehehe



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Your name. That’s all I want.” I debate on whether or not I should explain to him that my name isn't going to help him in his stalking endeavours.

Colleen Hoover

Tag: hope funny sky laugh stalking hopeless lol name haha colleen-hoover holder



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I stop stretching and face him, unwilling to back down from this visual standoff. I'm not going to let him perform his little Jedi mind tricks on me, no matter how much I wish I could perform them on him. He’s completely unreadable and even more unpredictable. It pisses me off.

Colleen Hoover

Tag: hope funny sky laugh hopeless lol jedi haha unpredictable colleen-hoover holder



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Thank you adult mittens, for allowing me to give people the finger without them knowing it.

Jimmy Fallon

Tag: humor funny the-finger mittens



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Thank you leaf blowers, for making me look like the world's lamest Ghostbuster. I ain't afraid of no leaves.

Jimmy Fallon

Tag: humor funny fall leaves ghostbusters



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And he paddled away in his douche canoe.

Joe Hill

Tag: funny joe-hill nos4a2



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Cabel flicks his fingers at her, spraying her with water. Grinning. "Sure. I think I'm pretty lucky. I bet blind people have great sex. I'll even wear a blindfold so it's fair." He bumps his hips lightly against hers.

Lisa McMann

Tag: sex funny blind gone lisa cabel lisa-mcmann janie wake-series mcmann



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What did your mom say?"
"She said I better not be pregnant."
Janie snorts. "What the hell is wrong with our parents, anyway? Wait -- you're not, are you?"
"Of course not! Sheesh, Janers! I may not have gotten the best grades in school, but I'm not stupid. You know I'm on the Pill. And his Jimmy doesn't get near me without a raincoat, yadamean? Ain't nothin' getting through my little fortress!

Lisa McMann

Tag: sex funny pregnant gone carrie lisa lisa-mcmann janie dream-catcher jimmy stu wake-series mcmann janers raincoat



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