And certainly, the mistakes that we male and female mortals make when we have our own way might fairly raise some wonder that we are so fond of it.

George Eliot

Tag: human-nature funny



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Cultivate your curves - they may be dangerous but they won't be avoided.

Mae West

Tag: funny



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Don't be so humble - you are not that great.

Golda Meir

Tag: funny true golda meir



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Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

Groucho Marx

Tag: funny innuendo



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HOMICIDE, n. The slaying of one human being by another. There are
four kinds of homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and
praiseworthy, but it makes no great difference to the person slain
whether he fell by one kind or another -- the classification is for
advantage of the lawyers.

Ambrose Bierce

Tag: humor funny homicide



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I was born with an adult head and a tiny body. Like a 'Peanuts' character.

Jon Stewart

Tag: funny



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If the events of September 11, 2001, have proven anything, it's that the terrorists can attack us, but they can't take away what makes us American -- our freedom, our liberty, our civil rights. No, only Attorney General John Ashcroft can do that.

Jon Stewart

Tag: funny civil-rights patriot-act ashcroft



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I've been to Canada, and I've always gotten the impression that I could take the country over in about two days.

Jon Stewart

Tag: canada funny



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Yesterday, the president met with a group he calls the coalition of the willing. Or, as the rest of the world calls them, Britain and Spain

Jon Stewart

Tag: funny



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It was all Mrs. Bumble. She would do it," urged Mr. Bumble; first looking round, to ascertain that his partner had left the room.

That is no excuse," returned Mr. Brownlow. "You were present on the occasion of the destruction of these trinkets, and, indeed, are the more guilty of the two, in the eye of the law; for the law supposes that your wife acts under your direction."

If the law supposes that," said Mr. Bumble, squeezing his hat emphatically in both hands, "the law is a ass — a idiot. If that's the eye of the law, the law is a bachelor; and the worst I wish the law is, that his eye may be opened by experience — by experience.

Charles Dickens

Tag: woman marriage funny law responsibility husbands wives dominance matrimony



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