He opened the door wider. "He's waiting." He gave me what was probably meant to be a significant wink, but a corner of his mouth moved more than his eye did and the result was a fairly startling face.
Dashiell HammettDon't be so damned patronizing. Your performance so far has been a little less than dazzling."
"I didn't mean no harm," I said and kissed her. "That a new dress?"
"Ah! Changing the subject, you coward.
Tag: funny humorous coward changing-the-subject patronizing
Serena had to cross her legs: in moments of dire amusement her bladder tended to play tricks.
A.P. .Tag: humor funny hilarious amusement
It wasn't love at first sight. They ran into each other one morning in a sunny clearing in the forest. A few moments of stunned silence. `Glockenspiel,' Adam pronounced, thinking (but with terrible doubt) he'd found another animal in search of a name. When Eve approached him, proffering a handful of elderberries, he threw a stick at her and ran away.
Glen DuncanTag: funny bible adam eve eden
Because, of course, of how intelligent you are. And funny. Not that you aren't attractive. Because you are. Attractive. Oh, bugger..."
I wait.
"Are you still there, or did you hang up because I'm such a bleeding idiot?"
"I'm here."
"God, you made me work for that.
Tag: funny
If there is a god maybe it rewards those who don't believe on the basis of insufficient evidence--and punishes those who do.
Peter BoghossianTag: humor reason belief funny superstition gods evidence reward insufficient-evidence
An educated theologian: someone who's better at rationalizing what they're pretending to know.
Peter BoghossianTag: humor knowledge funny theology rationalization pretending theologian
It’s possible to be flippant here, when Jihadists fly aircraft into buildings they shout God is Great, what do atheists shout when they do it?
Martin AmisTag: humor atheism funny atheist 9-11 motivation islam muslims jihad terrorist shout jihadists flippant september-11
Is it necessary, do you think,’ he began, leaning in so close behind me that I could smell his breath, ‘for the purpose of visiting your grandmother’s childhood home, to dress like a kindergarten whore?
Danielle WoodTag: funny humorous-quotations
Get on a bus full of old people and you’ll understand what I mean. It’s easy to pick the woman who’s spent her life indulging herself in moral indignation, tightening her lips against mothers who are too young, mothers who are too old, young men with dangerous-looking haircuts, and Winifred Martin going off with May Charleston’s husband, and at their age, honestly. Yes, you’ll be able to pick her in a trice, since she’ll be the one with the cat's arse where her mouth ought to be.
Danielle WoodTag: humor funny face old-people
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