Want a little cheese with that whine, maestro?

Madeleine Urban

Tag: funny



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After all, this was the place where I’d had my first meaningful conversation with a female, it was the site of a football’s first encounter with my groin, and above all, it was the location where I was first punched in the face by a bully. Somewhere out there, a tooth of mine lay deep within the soil.

Wes Locher

Tag: humor funny comedy essay anecdote



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What is it about hairdressers? You tell them 'not too short' and some part of their hairdresser brain hears this as 'whack the shit out of it.' If you never say, 'not too short,' everything is fine. You say it,

Deb Caletti

Tag: funny



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I'm bored with that line. I never use it anymore. My new line is "In 15 minutes everybody will be famous.

Andy Warhol

Tag: funny fame



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I can’t chitchat and make breakfast at the same time. You could help, you know, instead of standing there like the Queen of England. Although you’re a lot better-looking.

Susan Elizabeth Phillips

Tag: humor funny



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The Friday before winter break, my mom packed me an overnight bag and a few deadly weapons and took me to a new boarding school.

Rick Riordan

Tag: fantasy fiction funny cool intense



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Eh, Whappaaaa!

George Lopez

Tag: funny



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You're in a rather odd mood today."
I'm soaking wet, Eloise."
No need to snap at me about it, I didn't force you to walk across town in the rain."
It wasn't raining when I left,". There was something about a sibling that brought out the eight-year-old in a body.
I'm sure the sky was gray,"
Clearly, she had a bit of the eight-year-old in her as well.

Julia Quinn

Tag: humor funny



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She'd met Colin on a Monday.
She'd kissed him on a Friday.
Twelve years later.
She sighed. It seemed fairly pathetic.

Julia Quinn

Tag: humor funny sarcasm



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So how's the putrid pile of caca doing?

Kate Carlisle

Tag: funny robin kate-carlisle



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