I had to say it gave me a warm feeling to picture Meredith Winslow spending twenty years or so in an ill fitting orange jumpsuit, cozying up to a great big girl named Beulah

Kate Carlisle

Tag: funny brooklyn kate-carlisle



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He'd once explained that when he was a boy his very proper parents had forbidden him and his brothers to curse in the house so 'feather buckets' was the young boys coded way of saying 'f*ck it

Kate Carlisle

Tag: funny brooklyn kate-carlisle



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Men were good for one thing only. Killing spiders. Other than that, I was on my own. It was sad though. Where was the chivalry of yesteryear?

Kate Carlisle

Tag: funny brooklyn kate-carlisle



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Say, ‘Thank you, Phin.’ ”
“Oh, please.”
“Say, Thank youvery much, Phin. ”
“I don’t think so.”
“Say, ‘You are a great lover, Phin.’ ”
“I’m out of here.

Jennifer Crusie

Tag: humour funny



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Oh, there you are, Albus,' he said. 'You've been a very long time. Upset stomach?'
'No, I was merely reading the Muggle magazines,' said Dumbledore. 'I do love knitting patterns.

J.K. Rowling

Tag: funny dumbledore muggles



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There wasn't a lot of bullshit in my heaven.

Alice Sebold

Tag: afterlife funny life-quotes



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Just curious,she mouthed.
"What? I didn't catch that."
Jjuussttccuurriioouuss.She drew it out this time, hoping he'd be able to read her lips.
"If you spoke out loud," he drawled, "I might understand what you're saying."
Caroline stamped her foot in frustration, but when it landed, it landed on something considerably
less
'flat than the floor.
"Owww!" he yelled.
Oh! His foot!Sorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorry , she mouthed.I didn't mean it.
"If you think I can understand that," he growled, "you're crazier than I'd originally thought.

Julia Quinn

Tag: funny humourous-situations julia-quinn



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...Don't you just hate a phony-looking stiff?" - Aunt Edna

Janet Evanovich

Tag: funny



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Caroline stamped her foot in frustration, but when it landed, it landed on something considerably
less flat than the floor.
"Owww!" he yelled.
Oh! His foot!Sorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorry , she mouthed.I didn't mean it.
"If you think I can understand that," he growled, "you're crazier than I'd originally thought.

Julia Quinn

Tag: humor funny julia-quinn



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A new baby! Why, Scarlett, this is a surprise!” he laughed, leaning down to push the blanket away from Ella Lorena's small ugly face." - Rhett Butler

Margaret Mitchell

Tag: funny ironic



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