Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward.

Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

Tag: humor laughter frustration

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If you drink much from a bottle marked 'poison' it is certain to disagree with you sooner or later.

Lewis Carroll

Tag: humor alice-in-wonderland

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Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company.

Benjamin Franklin Wade

Tag: humor misattributed-mark-twain philosophy theology

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There's no such thing as soy milk. It's just soy juice.

Lewis Black

Tag: humor

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When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, "Why god? Why me?" and the thundering voice of God answered, There's just something about you that pisses me off.

Stephen King

Tag: humor god religion

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My tastes are simple: I am easily satisfied with the best.

Winston S. Churchill

Tag: humor taste

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It'd Be a Lot Cooler If You Did.

Matthew McConaughey

Tag: humor

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I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.

W.C. Fields

Tag: humor sinister

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You know what the fellow said – in Italy, for thirty years under the Borgias, they had warfare, terror, murder and bloodshed, but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci and the Renaissance. In Switzerland, they had brotherly love, they had five hundred years of democracy and peace – and what did that produce? The cuckoo clock.

Graham Greene

Tag: humor sinister

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If a cricketer, for instance, suddenly decided to go into a school and batter a lot of people to death with a cricket bat, which he could do very easily, I mean, are you going to ban cricket bats?

Philip, Duke of Edinburgh

Tag: humor

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