Did you just call me a numpty?"
"Yup. A delusional one."
"What, may I ask, is a numpty?"
"A person demonstrating a lack of knowledge of a situation; a silly person; an idiot; a dumbass. A delusional numpty: Joss Butler’s stupid, idiotic, blind misconception of the true nature of her relationship with my brother, Braden Carmichael." She glowered at me, but it was an Ellie glower so it didn't really count.
I nodded my head. "Numpty. Good word."
She threw a cushion at me.
Occasionally, merely for the pleasure of being cruel, we put unoffending Frenchmen on the rack with questions framed in the incomprehensible jargon of their native language, and while they writhed, we impaled them, we peppered them, we scarified them, with their own vile verbs and participles.
Mark TwainTag: humor language travel french france
Sex and holidays."
"Uh, what?"
"I'm making a list of things that make you agreeable."
I scoffed, pushing my foot into his leg. "And all you got is sex and vacations?"
"The length of the list is not my fault."
"Are you saying I'm disagreeable?"
He raised an eyebrow. "Woman, how stupid do you think I am? You really think I'm answering that? I want to get laid tonight."
I pushed him harder. "Watch it, or you might get laid to rest."
Braden threw his head back and laughed.
I’d once had a long-term relationship with a Five Point Five that got nowhere near living together. This was because I was a Two Point Five, he was a Five Point Five and he wanted a Nine Point Five. Therefore, we were both destined for a broken heart. He gave me mine. He later found a Six Point Five that wanted a Nine Point Five. She got herself a breast enhancement and nose job which made her a firm Seven (if you didn’t count the fact that she thought she was a Ten point Five and acted like it which really knocked her down to a Six) who broke his heart.
Kristen AshleyTag: humor romantic relationships
When she heard about Mitch, it was Roberta that talked me into making the pizza.
“You have to!” she’d nearly shrieked. She did this because I’d waxed on perhaps a little too enthusiastically about Mitch’s looks, his warm smile and his neighborly behavior.
I shook my head. “I don’t know. He freaks me out.”
“Yeah, I get that. Johnny Depp came in and fixed my faucet then told me he wanted to try my pizza that would freak me out too. But I’d still make him my freaking pizza.
Frankie runs a sex moon and has kids. My head hurts just thinking about it. You still keep up with her, too, then?”
Ryelle's face took on a hunted expression. “She sends me coupons, Declan.
Tag: humor romance science-fiction futuristic-romance scifi-romance
They’re only askin’ you to do one thing. From what Rogue says, you ain’t exactly reluctant.”
“F**k myself into a coma. Sure, I can do that. Then what?”
“Uh, wait an hour?
Tag: humor romance science-fiction science-fiction-romance futuristic-romance scifi-romance
Where I come from, we're more about efficiency,' he replies. 'A knife like this'll skewer food, smear butter, and slit throats all at the same time.
Marie LuTag: humor
Books are like a movie that makes you smarter and lasts for hours and doesn't run out of battery.
RanbowfutTag: humor
I really don't think that was a good idea,'' Archer said, appearing in the open archway. ''To go sightseeing when you have half the government gunning for your ass.
Jennifer L. ArmentroutTag: humor origin archer lux-series
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