I don't get why prom is like a mini-wedding these days...No one should spend that kind of money for a high school dance.

Deb Caletti

Tag: humorous



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I have noticed that the people who are late are often so much jollier than the people who have to wait for them.

Edward Verrall Lucas

Tag: humor humorous waiting late tardy



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Men always want to be a woman’s first love. That is their clumsy vanity. We women have a more subtle instinct about these things. What (women) like is to be a man’s last romance.

Oscar Wilde

Tag: humorous



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Hat head is a sad affliction wherein the chosen hat and the selected hairstyle are grossly incompatible. The unfortunate combination results in a condition that can be hidden only with the application of another hat.

Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

Tag: humorous



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Fuckstockings!

Christopher Moore

Tag: humorous



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He [Iggy] started reaching for things around the table, and his hand landed on Total. “You’re black.”
“I prefer canine-American,” said Total.

James Patterson

Tag: humorous



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But if I hadn't shoved you off the boat back there,you'd be lost at sea now,wouldn't you? We'd all be lost! So thanks to me you're all standing on land."
(Pirates, its a good thing they're idiots)

Dave Barry

Tag: humorous



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I don't care how impossible it seems.

David Byrne

Tag: inspirational song humorous best-of-talking-heads david-byrne talking-heads



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All men are selfish, brutal and inconsiderate--and I wish I could find one.

Shulamith Firestone

Tag: humorous



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Perhaps we humans are still in command, and perhaps there really will be a conventional robot war in the not-so-distant future. If so, let's roll. I'm ready. My toaster will never be the boss of me. Get ready to make me some Pop-Tarts, bitch.

Chuck Klosterman

Tag: humorous



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