...food was at least three million per cent more delicious when you ate it immediately after thinking you were going to die.

Joshua Donellan

Tag: humor humour humorous humourous



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If you don't succeed the first time - you're about average

Frederick L. Coxen

Tag: humorous



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Aw, come on, admit it—you feel like Cinderella, don’t you?” “No, Darren, I don’t. And do you know why?” “No, sugar, you tell me why.” “Because I’m a man. I’ve got a big fat one and I like to fuck other guys.” Darren was laughing over the phone now, and it made Reece grin. “And Ben isn’t a prince, he’s a cop. A big, sexy cop who fucks like a machine. He’s a man. I’m a man. We’re men.” He nodded sharply. “Now fuck off. I’m arranging flowers.

L.A. Gilbert

Tag: humorous



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I’ve had a lot of food but if you don’t jiggle me too much you can have your wicked way with me.

Samantha Young

Tag: humorous



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If you have to pay the bills, and you write something you're not proud of, use a pen-name for that.

Dean Koontz

Tag: humorous



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If you ever find yourself in the wrong story, leave.

Mo Willems

Tag: humor philosophy psychology fairy-tales humorous



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Sane people did what their neighbours did, so that if any lunatics were at large, one might know and avoid them.

George Eliot

Tag: humorous middlemarch small-town-life



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Un homme de cinquante ans ne tient pas longtemps rancune à une femme de vingt-trois.

Alexandre Dumas

Tag: humorous male-female-relationships



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Jewish vampires: Crosses

Tasha Turner

Tag: humorous jewish vampire jewish-vampire



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Jewish vampires: We turn into cats not bats bwaaahaha

Tasha Turner

Tag: humorous jewish vampire jewish-vampire



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