Real men don't make salad

Pete Decker

Tag: humorous



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I’ll take a ride…ooh-rah.

Aaron B. Powell

Tag: humorous erotica



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It's all life is. Just going 'round kissing people.

F. Scott Fitzgerald

Tag: humor love girls kissing romance funny dating humorous gatsby fitzgerald lol zelda kissing-quotes 20s flapper head-and-shoulders



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You know, I can’t wait for her to gets married because hell is made of fire and she said it would be frozen before she gots married again.” ~ Anna Kate

J.T. Cheyanne

Tag: funny humorous cute-kids



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One thing I’d realized in the last year was that there were some things no one could give you permission to do. All the same, it didn’t mean you couldn’t or shouldn’t do them— particularly when it came to the big things, like saving the world, or journeying to a supernatural seam between realities, or bringing your boyfriend back from the dead.

Kami Garcia

Tag: priorities humorous



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I am a trembling mess from hip to knee. There is a terrible heat, a looseness in my innards that makes me want to dig my fists between my thighs. It is a confusing feeling - somewhere between diarrhoea and sex - this grief that is almost genital.

Anne Enright

Tag: sadness grief feelings humorous



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Oh, it's called, em...' Kate thinks, 'I can't remember what it's called.'

'You're the same as me,' Dad says to her. 'You've got CRAFT too.'

'What's that?'

'Can't. Remember. A. Fuc-

Cecelia Ahern

Tag: humorous



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Boys... You're all idiots

Raymond E. Feist

Tag: humorous



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Now, Jasper, as a great man once said, 'A brave and steadfast heart can overcome any fear.' So don't worry. I'll be back with Benelaius shortly. In the meantime, look about for clues, only don't disturb anything."
[...]
I knew only too well who that great man was whom he spoke of. Camber Fosrick. I had committed the quote to memory as well. So Lindavar, one of the War Wizards of Cormyr, was addicted to trashy literature too. I would have chuckled had I not been so scared.

Chet Williamson

Tag: inspirational humorous



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...every year for decades there had been great excitement over the Largest Vegetable competition ("That would be my husband", was the standard comment).

G.M. Malliet

Tag: humor humorous husband husbands competition humorous-quotations



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