I was just going over London Bridge and I saw someone had attacked the Madonna's statue. Knocked off the baby's head.’
‘That was done a while back. It would be that devil Cranmer. You know what he is when he's taken a drink.
Tag: humour
Your fate is writ clear; you will be murdered. I cannot conceive how it comes about that you were not murdered long since!"
"How odd! Charles himself once said that to me, or something like it!"
"There is nothing odd in it; any sensible man must say it!
In the past five minutes, I had managed to tease my libido, scald my crotch, and catch a world-class elbow with my forehead.
B. Justin ShierGo Ahead, call me all the names you want," Sansa said airily. "You won't dare when I'm married to Joffrey. You'll have to bow and call me Your Grace." She shrieked as Arya flung the orange across the table. It caught her in the middle of the forehead with a wet squish and plopped down into her lap.
"You have juice on your face, Your Grace ," Arya said.
Tag: humour sansa-stark arya-stark
This was how I would die. Strangled by an attractive, seminaked woman inside a fridge with a giant tarantula in the middle of a sea of carnivorous jam. As I blacked out, all I could think of was a fortune teller I'd spoken to a few years ago, and how full of shit she'd turned out to be.
Yahtzee CroshawTag: death humour hindsight dying black-humor
...Recognising, as I do, that you are the second highest expert in Europe--"
"Indeed, sir! May I inquire who has the honour to be the first?" Asked Holmes, with some asperity.
"To the man of precised, scientific mind the work of Monsieur Bertillon must always appeal strongly."
"Then had you not better consult him?"
"I said, sir, to the precisely scientific mind. But as a practical man of affairs it is acknowledged that you stand alone. I trust, sir, that I have not inadvertently--"
"Just a little," said Holmes.
Tag: sherlock-holmes humour hound-of-the-baskervilles
You can't always be right, but you can be wrong a lot less
Benny BellamacinaTag: wisdom life philosophy humour
The mice were furious."
[...]
"Oh yes," said the old man mildly.
"Yes well so I expect were the dogs and cats and duckbilled platypuses, but..."
"Ah, but they hadn't paid for it you see, had they?"
"Look," said Arthur, "would it save you a lot of time if I just gave up and went mad now?"
[...]
"Earthman, the planet you lived on was commissioned, paid for, and run by mice. It was destroyed five minutes before the completion of the purpose for which it was built, and we've got to build another one."
Only one word registered with Arthur.
"Mice?" he said.
"Indeed Earthman."
"Look, sorry - are we talking about the little white furry things with the cheese fixation and women standing on tables screaming in early sixties sit coms?"
Slartibartfast coughed politely.
"[...] These creatures you call mice, you see, they are not quite as they appear. They are merely the protrusion into our dimension of vast hyperintelligent pandimensional beings. The whole business with the cheese and the squeaking is just a front."
The old man paused, and with a sympathetic frown continued.
"They've been experimenting on you, I'm afraid.
Tag: humour science-fiction british
A five-week sand blizzard?" said Deep Thought haughtily. "You ask this of me who have contemplated the very vectors of the atoms in the Big Bang itself? Molest me not with this pocket calculator stuff.
Douglas AdamsTag: humour science-fiction british
You don't need a big pen to write a tall story
Benny BellamacinaTag: wisdom life philosophy humour quotes
« prima precedente
Pagina 214 di 254.
prossimo ultimo »
Data privacy
Imprint
Contact
Diese Website verwendet Cookies, um Ihnen die bestmögliche Funktionalität bieten zu können.