Don't do it! Stay away from your potential. You'll mess it up, it's potential, leave it. Anyway, it's like your bank balance - you always have a lot less than you think.
Dylan MoranTag: humour comedy monster standup
After Puckoon I swore I'd never write another book. This is it
Spike MilliganTag: humour
Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping.
Oscar WildeA sharp bolt of hunger hit Luther hard. His knees almost buckled, his poker face almost grimaced. For two weeks now his sense of smell had been much keener, no doubt a side effect of a strict diet. Maybe he got a whiff of Mabel's finest, he wasn't sure, but a craving came over him. Suddenly, he had to have something to eat. Suddenly, he wanted to snatch the bag from Kendall, rip open a package, and start gnawing on a fruitcake.
John GrishamTag: humor humour diet fruitcake skipping-christmas
Lord, my hands were made for blessing, but not my feet!
Giovannino GuareschiTag: humour italy catholicism priesthood don-camillo
Get back in my cot, girl," said Gilsa. "You're sickly."
No, I'm not," said Ani.
Oh, no? Well, maybe stubbornness is a sickness, did you ever think of that?
Tag: humour
I love Sherlock Holmes. I've got all his books, leather-bound. What I thought was great about Sherlock Holmes was that not only was he a supersleuth, he was also a hard worker. Not only did he go out and solve the crimes, he came home and wrote it all down. Fantastic. That's why I admire him.
Steve CooganTag: writing sherlock-holmes humour
I am who I am and that's who I am
Nikolai GogolShe shivered as he left her to go to the fire, and find water and cloths. He leaned into the light, and brightness and shadows moved across his body. He was beautiful. She admired him, and he flashed a grin at her. Almost as beautiful as you are conceited, she thought at him, and he laughed out loud.
Kristin CashoreTag: humour
Cal: “Yesterday I was stuck in a car with you for eight hours.”
Bastard. I didn’t even sing along with the radio. Much.
Me: “Yeah. And?”
Cal: “Something happened.”
Me: “If you’re referring to my driving skills, may I just say I didn’t TOUCH that truck. What you felt was just the wind. We were going pretty fast. And there wasn’t even a scratch. I checked.”
Every Boy's Got One
Tag: humour
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