Fuck it... That's really the attitude that keeps a family together, it's not "we love each other", it's just "fuck it, man.
Louis C.K.Tag: life honesty family funny attitude comedy quote joke honest jokes comedian stand-up lucky-louie fuck-it louie
What do you call a rifle with three barrels?
A trifle.
Tag: humor funny joke humorous laugh riddle biggest rifle biggest-riddle-book-in-the-world funniest joke-book joseph-rosenbloom rosenbloom
Reader: Dear Mr. Snicket, What is the best way to keep a secret? Lemony Snicket : Tell it to everyone you know, but pretend you are kidding.
Lemony SnicketSomeone once told me a joke," he said. "I'd like to be a pacifist, but people keep getting in the way.' I made a decision to fight for my friend in prison. It was a deliberate decision. It isn't the only way-it's just something I decided.
Edeet RavelTag: prison joke decision pacifist
This wise old whiskery fish swims up to three young fish and goes, 'Morning, boys, how's the water?' and swims away; and the three young fish watch him swim away and look at each other and go, 'What the fuck is water?' and swim away.
David Foster WallaceTold you to get him a bell.
Mora EarlyTag: joke surprise best-friend assistant
If your regime is not strong enough to handle a joke, then you have no regime.
Jon StewartTag: revolution joke regime
The signs of excessive indulgence in this destructive pastime are easily detectable. They are these: A disposition to eat, to drink, to smoke, to meet together convivially, to laugh, to joke, and tell indelicate stories— and mainly, a yearning to paint pictures.
Mark TwainTag: funny fun joke laugh masturbation mark-twain smoke
There's a joke about the balloon boy who has a balloon mum and a balloon dad and he goes to a balloon school with balloon friends ad a balloon principal. And one day, the balloon boy decides to take a pin to his balloon school, which is, of course, a disaster. And he's called into the balloon principal's office, and the balloon principal tells him, 'You've let me down, you've let your school down, you've let your parents down, you've let your friends down. But most importantly you've let yourself down'.
Gabrielle WilliamsThere is a somewhat time-worn joke about people taking up library work because they like to read : the joke consisting of the fact that librarians have so little time to read. But, I tell you, those who do not, and there are some, are in the wrong profession.
Mary Virginia ProvinesTag: reading books librarians joke library
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