Judging from the unfamiliar number, I assumed the text came from Shannon. If not, I would see who came by my house at 4:30 and go with it. Maybe it would be Mr. Darcy coming to pick me up in an extravagant horse-drawn carriage, but I couldn’t picture Mr. Darcy using a cell phone.

Michelle Madow

Tag: humor sarcasm



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Where do you come up with these zingers, Clint? Do you own some kind of joke factory in Indonesia where you've got eight-year-olds working ninety hours a week to deliver you that kind of top-quality witticism? There are boy bands with more original material.

John Green

Tag: sarcasm jokes



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Edna restored the toffee to the centre of her tongue and sucking pleasurably, resumed her typing of Naked Love by Armand Levine. Its painstaking eroticism left her uninterested--as indeed it did most of Mr. Levine's readers, in spite of his efforts. He was a notable example of the fact that nothing can be duller than dull pornography.

Agatha Christie

Tag: humour sarcasm pornography erotica



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Sarcasm is when you tell someone the truth by lying on purpose.

Chuck Klosterman

Tag: humor truth lies lying sarcasm chuck-klosterman



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Picture a place called the Karma Kafe and it'll save me the bother of describing it. There was nothing in it you wouldn't expect, from the Buddha flowerpots to the wallpaper decorated with symbols that probably said, "If you bought this just because it looked pretty, may Buddha piss in your coffee, you culturally ignorant moron.

Kelley Armstrong

Tag: sarcasm decoration



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Come on, there's no one there. You want coffee?" Tess asked.
"Yeah, sure, why not? I'm only on the brink of a nervous breakdown. I don't imagine why caffeine wouldn't help this situation.

Frankie Rose

Tag: humor sarcasm



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Costin regained his serious tone but his eyes softened.

"I won't force you into anything Sally. I know this is all different to you. I've known all my life that I had one perfect mate out there for me. And when I look at you, I'm in awe of what I've been given." Sally blushed as he paused. "I won't leave you unprotected, and allowing other males around you is something that neither I, nor my wolf, will be able to handle. Besides," he said, his eyes twinkling with mischief, "how could you not want to be around all this?"

Sally let out a snort. "You've been around Jen way too much."

"I don't know, she's quite educational."

"Yeah, I don’t think I really want you to be educated by her.

Quinn Loftis

Tag: humour sarcasm jen sally educated costin



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I'd tell you nice try, but... it wasn't.

Cynder

Tag: humor sarcasm sarcastic-humor



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Innocent tourists? You make me sound like the big bad wolf.”
“And you’re not?” I questioned.
“Only if you’re Red Riding Hood,” he said flirtatiously.
“Wow, that’s original.

Alyssa Rose Ivy

Tag: sarcasm pick-up-line original red-riding-hood big-bad-wolf



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REMIND ME AGAIN, he said, HOW THE LITTLE HORSE-SHAPED ONES MOVE.

Terry Pratchett

Tag: sarcasm games



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