It’s not true I think all politicians are morons. Morons are far too intelligent to be politicians.
Jarod KintzI’d rather coin a few words than coin a few quarters, nickels, or dimes.
Jarod KintzI want to sit on the sofa, eating potato chips, while wearing one of those vibrating ab belts and getting a workout.
Jarod KintzI have two mustaches, one over each eye. They smell like tits and ass, because that’s all I enjoy drinking.
Jarod KintzI want a camera shaped like a jail, so I can capture a ghost on film.
Jarod KintzMy information is based on yesterday’s newspaper. But that’s OK, because I’m living in the past. It’s always two days ago to me.
Jarod KintzI didn’t list listening as one of my skills, probably because I didn’t hear what the interviewer asked.
Jarod KintzI want to scrape earwax out of your ears like the last of the chunky peanut butter in a jar. I’d love it if you ate one of my world famous Listening Sandwiches.
Jarod KintzLove is like a cookie. Maybe I should have ordered crackers with my condom soup.
Jarod KintzI’ll tell you love is like a pickle, and then I’ll reach my hand into the jar to grab the last one.
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