Die besten Zitate der Welt!

I’m stronger than a pack of crackers and a pack of midgets, but not the PAC 12. PAC 11, maybe, but not 12.

The word ubiquitous is itself ubiquitous in today’s writing.

I got shingles from my ex girlfriend. But that’s to be expected, since she is a roofer.

Politicians are people with easy answers for hard problems.

I make music like I make love—in a group. OK, so I’m not in a band, and I sing alone in the shower.

I have all the things I need to succeed in life, including a bucket of unicorn urine.

I live in the armpit of the country. I can tell by how hairy and smelly and hilly it is.

I have a memory like a baseball glove, so please, don’t toss me a basketball-sized rumination.

Good things come to those who ate. I’m going to wait to eat. I just got done swallowing my pride, and I’ll be full for the foreseeable future.

I want to take a sponge bath, but first I need to take that sponge and wash the dishes so I can fit my body in the sink.

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