I’m stronger than a pack of crackers and a pack of midgets, but not the PAC 12. PAC 11, maybe, but not 12.
Jarod KintzThe word ubiquitous is itself ubiquitous in today’s writing.
Jarod KintzI got shingles from my ex girlfriend. But that’s to be expected, since she is a roofer.
Jarod KintzPoliticians are people with easy answers for hard problems.
Jarod KintzI make music like I make love—in a group. OK, so I’m not in a band, and I sing alone in the shower.
Jarod KintzI have all the things I need to succeed in life, including a bucket of unicorn urine.
Jarod KintzI live in the armpit of the country. I can tell by how hairy and smelly and hilly it is.
Jarod KintzI have a memory like a baseball glove, so please, don’t toss me a basketball-sized rumination.
Jarod KintzGood things come to those who ate. I’m going to wait to eat. I just got done swallowing my pride, and I’ll be full for the foreseeable future.
Jarod KintzI want to take a sponge bath, but first I need to take that sponge and wash the dishes so I can fit my body in the sink.
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