How big is my penis? Big enough to touch my hands.
Jarod KintzI’m too horny tonight to be productive. Right now the only thing I could make is love. And then I wouldn’t be productive, I’d be reproductive.
Jarod KintzI called, but the phones were all tied up. And so were the operators who normally answer them. Some were even gagged too.
Jarod KintzIf I ever decide to kill you, you’d be the first to know about it. (And hopefully the only person to know about it).
Jarod KintzI’m exercising my right to free speech, because it used to be obese. For years all it did was sit on the sofa watching TV.
Jarod KintzMy book is called “Blue Collar.” That’s just a working title.
Jarod KintzA fish called Gilbert. But I just call him Gil to save some breath, so I can spend more time underwater petting him like I used to do to grandpa before he drowned.
Jarod KintzI knew a woman named Hope once, and boy did she fill me with her first name.
Jarod KintzI’ll tell you about love on one condition: that you give it to me unconditionally.
Jarod KintzMy wife and I make love every night, sometimes even to each other.
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