I like my relationships like I like my eggs. Over easy.
Jarod KintzGrandpa always used to make me ride in the bed of his pickup truck, so he could keep up his conversations with the 100-pound sack of manure he kept buckled up in the passenger seat. Grandpa said all they ever talked about was grass, but I know Grandpa used to do a little flirting, too.
Jarod KintzIf it’s not already written, I want to write a book called, “The Art of Raw.” But instead of using my real name, I’ll use the pseudonym, “Sun Tzushi.
Jarod KintzThe two spoons were stuck together. Not because they were sticky, but because they were stubborn and clingy and “in love.
Jarod KintzThe other day I went to the Huddle House. I wasn’t hungry, I just wanted to call some plays.
Jarod KintzI don't want to work a 9-5 job, because 20 hours a day is just too much.
Jarod KintzThe best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg my friends to treat me that well.
Jarod KintzI want to protect innocent people from sin by locking them in cages, where the evil can't get to them.
Jarod KintzThey say you fear what you don't understand. Maybe that's why every time I'm in South Florida, and I hear someone talking in Spanish, I always shit my pants.
Jarod KintzI wish the masses of people would all follow my advice, because I'd throw it off a cliff.
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