If girlfriends were knees, I'd love to have both of mine replaced. That way, it'd be easier to run around on them.
Jarod KintzI saw this beautiful girl the other day. She had an ass behind her that seemed to go on for days. In fact, I’m still going on about her.
Jarod KintzJust to show my dad that I think he's number one, I bought him a urinal cake for his birthday.
Jarod KintzThe only time I really think is when I smoke, and I quit smoking years ago.
Jarod KintzI want to create moonglasses, and then write a song called, "I Wear My Moonglasses at Noon." Hopefully, with a little lunar luck, my track will also feature Corey Hart.
Jarod KintzI’m glad scrambled eggs don’t have lips, because when I’m grinning over a hearty breakfast, it would really freak me out to see my breakfast grinning back. I’ve eaten a man for less than that.
Jarod KintzMy close friends are fond of telling me that I put the “yalt” in loyalty. Well, I don’t know if I’d go that far with it, but yeah, I guess I am a pretty yalty person.
Jarod KintzI’d love to work with an Asian guy named Wu Hu, because just saying his name would get me all pumped up and excited.
Jarod KintzThere Are Two Typos Of People In This World: Those Who Can Edit And Those Who Can’t
Jarod KintzMy parents always said that knowledge was the best gift they could give me, probably because they were too cheap to buy me Christmas or Birthday presents.
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