Everything I’ve ever done, ever thought, ever experienced, and ever felt, has led me up to this moment in my life. And after accumulating and culminating it, all I can say is, “Ahhhhh!

Jarod Kintz


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I’d love to create a personal profile on a dating site with a headline that reads, “Great Listener Seeks Mute Woman.

Jarod Kintz


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In high school I barely made the rodeo team. But I wasn’t good enough to start, so I just rode the bench.

Jarod Kintz


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I never got to call myself a door-to-door salesman, because, regrettably, I only ever went to one door. But one day I just might knock on another door, to be able to proudly say that I was once a door-to-door salesman.

Jarod Kintz


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Not only am I thinking about getting a nose job, but I’m also trying to get employment for the rest of my face.

Jarod Kintz


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Whether you live to be 50 or 100 makes no difference, if you made no difference in the world.

Jarod Kintz


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Time is such a waste of time to think about, because the longer you ponder it, the more of it you lose. And before you know it, you don’t know it, because you are nothing but dusty worm food.

Jarod Kintz


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To Do Today, 1/17/08
1. Sit and think
2. Reach enlightenment
3. Feed the cats

Jarod Kintz


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Here's a haiku/palindrome I wrote called, "Obsession."

Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob,
Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob,
Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob

Jarod Kintz


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I left a jar in the doorway to leave the door ajar, but love never walked in.

Jarod Kintz


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