The first step to running a successful business, is printing out pictures of all the luxury items you’re going to buy once you get rich.
Jarod KintzI’m a thief, because I stole her heart. That’s so cheesy that I had to end it with nachos.
Jarod KintzThere’s a new wine I want to try. I heard about it through the grapevine.
Jarod KintzThe only thing better than being productive, is being reproductive.
Jarod KintzI’m not flat broke. I’m a little hilly.
Jarod KintzI'm all about safe fruit. After I peel a banana, I roll on a condom.
Jarod KintzWhile you weren't looking, I flicked a booger in your soup. Just my way of saying thanks for dinner.
Jarod KintzI do every other every other. That’s how thoroughly unthorough I am.
Jarod KintzHaving kids and making kids are two different hobbies. I don’t have any children, but I do have lots of sex. It is an expensive hobby, but well worth the money I spend on it.
Jarod KintzI am a duck. I’m cool and calm on the surface, but underneath it all is a nonstop struggle to succeed. My feet are like orange spatulas.
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