Whole trees are good fishing nets. I fish like I farm.
Jarod KintzThe site of her warmed my heart, like a mitten over my penis. Can you please pass me the empty handshakes?
Jarod KintzI wear a mustache, both as a disguise—and as a cooter tickler.
Jarod KintzI wear my shirts inside out, because I’m an introvert.
Jarod KintzI was raised in a fishing village in the middle of the desert. I sold hellos and goodbyes just to get by.
Jarod KintzThere are pockets of wealth in this country. Mostly those pockets are in the politicians’ pants.
Jarod KintzI have a good ear for music, just like Van Gogh had a good ear for art.
Jarod KintzPeople are trying to kill people. Well, those people need to die.
Jarod KintzI sing into burritos like they're microphones. If you want my autograph, you’re going to have to wait until the end of the concert.
Jarod KintzThere’s a mime convention this weekend, so things should be pretty quiet around town. It’s possible that your pubic hair makes me sneeze.
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