Leave it to a vampire to think a healthy guy in his late thirties or early forties was on his deathbed.

MaryJanice Davidson

Stichwörter: perspective vampires



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What it comes down to is this, Betsy: you do what you need to, and then you haul ass out of there. Every single time.

MaryJanice Davidson


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How's your grandpa?"
"Still worried that your blackness will infect me."
"That's the plan. First you, then all the other blondes, and then on to brunettes and redheads. Once we have the womenfolk, all the babies will come out black, too. We all voted on the plan at the last Black Conspirators meeting.

MaryJanice Davidson

Stichwörter: humor racism



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What the hell was it about e-mail that made everybody forget the stuff they learned in second grade, like capitalizing I and proper names, and using periods? Hello? We all learned how to do this less than five years out of diapers!

MaryJanice Davidson

Stichwörter: grammar



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A grumpy vampire is a homicidal vampire. Hungry ones were even worse.

MaryJanice Davidson

Stichwörter: vampires



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Getting gratitude is becoming a thing with you, but even so, you're the worst Antichrist ever," Jessica said. "Which is actually comforting. Stay close.

MaryJanice Davidson


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Don't look at his groin. Don't look at his groin. Don't mention that he doesn't have a vagina, so 'we' is bullshit. This is not the time to mention your pet peeve about expectant fathers talking how 'we' are having a baby. Don't. Don't.

MaryJanice Davidson

Stichwörter: humor pregnancy pet-peeves annoyed



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All this to say of course Gallo wants to get into your Little Mermaid panties. And if you don't get that, you're dumber than I ever thought, which gives me such a headache to even contemplate. The massive amount of your dumbness. It hurts me,' he whined.

MaryJanice Davidson

Stichwörter: humor george dumbness



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All writers are crazy. So never mind what the editors and your family and your critique group tells you. Submit your manuscripts and keep submitting until you get an offer. Then you can be crazy, with a paycheck.

MaryJanice Davidson


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God is dead! Only the IT department can help you now.

MaryJanice Davidson


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