I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
Steven WrightYou know when you're sitting on a chair and you lean back so you're just on two legs and you lean too far so you almost fall over but at the last second you catch yourself? I feel like that all the time...
Steven WrightIf at first you don't succeed then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
Steven WrightStichwörter: funny first skydiving
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
Steven WrightStichwörter: humor success failure
I washed a sock. Then I put it in the dryer. When I took it out, it was gone.
Steven WrightExperience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
Steven WrightI had a dream that all the babies prevented by the pill showed up. They were mad.
Steven WrightStichwörter: humor
Women. Can't live with 'em, can't shoot 'em.
Steven WrightStichwörter: humor
I spilled spot remover on my dog; now he's gone.
Steven WrightYou can't have everything ... where would you put it?
Steven WrightStichwörter: humor
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